Title: The Second Miracle
Summary: During and Post Episode. What ran through Scully's mind before and after she found her baby amongst the ashes and rubble. There are so few fanfics out there that explore what happened post providence, so here's my attempt.
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. You know who their rightful owners are. I'm just borrowing, I promise I will give them back soon. :-)
As Scully's car came to a skidded halt, she nearly threw herself out of the car and began running until she and Reyes witnessed an explosion in the near distance. Not long after, a large, bright object rose up and into the sky. "No," she whispered as she watched the remains of what kept the ship hidden burn to the ground.
She was unaware of Reyes nearing her side. All she could think about was her son. 'Oh god…no, please don't tell me they took him!' she didn't have to say it aloud for Reyes to see or understand what she was thinking. 'Oh god…oh god…my baby, they took my baby!' Her legs began to feel weak and she felt her knees begin to buckle. It took everything she had to move further towards the rubble.
Tears threatened her eyes. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder that could only belong to Reyes, who looked afraid of Scully collapsing right then and there. Her thoughts were scattered, but she felt herself racing towards the rubble, on some sort of blind faith that her son would be there, unharmed. She couldn't escape the accusing voice inside of her head. 'If only I would have loved and accepted him regardless of what was different about him …" tears blinded Scully as she furthered on her journey with Reyes.
'I'm so sorry, Mulder, I lost our miracle…our precious baby…they took him from us," the voice continued. She nearly lost her feet beneath her before Reyes gripped her arm. "Dana," she started. Before either of them were able to say anything further, Scully heard a familiar cry in the near distance of the rubble and ashes. "William," she cried weakly, her voice breaking, almost afraid her ears may have been betraying her. When she heard the cry echo once more, she looked over at Reyes, as if for some sort of confirmation.
Reyes looked back at her and then towards the rubble and when the cry sounded the third time; Scully took off running straight ahead. A moment later, she was rewarded by the sight of a small blue bundle lying amongst the cool earth before them. "Oh, god!" she cried as she frantically threw herself towards the squalling baby, who appeared to be unharmed. She hurriedly scooped him up and into her arms. "Oh, sweetie," her voice broke as she analyzed his baby blanket, which was soiled with dirt and ash.
She was vaguely aware of Reyes nearing her side as she continued to analyze her precious baby, needing to assure herself he was unharmed. Once she was satisfied, she began placing incessant kisses on the baby's face and head, almost smothering him with unconditional love and affection. She felt Reyes' comforting hand on her back and the other on her baby's head. She knew this woman whom she had come to consider her best friend, was just as worried as she had been about the baby, the first and only baby Reyes had delivered into this world. Scully had long since stopped caring if anyone saw her emotions. Burying her head into the blankets, she began to sob softly. For what seemed like an eternity, she cried for coming so close to losing her baby, for not accepting him as her mother said she should have, for her uncertainty of being able to protect him and for Mulder.
She was vaguely aware of what followed. All she could remember was Monica driving them back home along the long, lonely road as she sat in the back seat, crying and holding William who was also still crying. Once they arrived back at her apartment, Monica walked with them inside. Scully was still clutching the baby to her breast, never once loosening her grip for fear of losing him again; one of her last connections she had to Mulder.
The baby seemed to have calmed some as they entered her apartment. She had yet to clean the nursery which had been stained with Agent Comer's blood. It was painful to remember how close her son had come to being killed. She couldn't believe Mulder was dead, she wouldn't. She had so many things she needed to tell him, needed him to know.
Their silence was broken by the ringing of Reyes' phone. Almost robotic and trance-like, Scully took the baby away to clean him up as Reyes' answered the phone. Scully was about to confiscate the blanket when she opened it further to reveal it's personalized lettering, "William Scully Mulder." She clutched the soft fabric in her hands, unable to bring herself to throw it away when she remembered Mulder had gotten this blanket for William before he had left. The thought brought tears to her eyes as she neatly folded the fabric and placed it in the hamper to be washed.
She cooed at William when he fussed as she began to change his baby clothes, which were also dirty. She also changed his diaper and only minutes later, had him in a fresh set of clothes. Scully was about to bring him back into the living room, before he began to cry. Not long after, he made a rooting motion with his mouth to indicate he was hungry. Scully didn't want to think about how long it had been since he had been fed as he still survived mainly on breast milk.
She sighed as she unbuttoned her blouse and bra before guiding him to her nipple. Her breasts were heavy with milk and nursing him would help alleviate some of the extra weight. She could hardly believe he was nearly three months old. It had been only a little less than three months since Mulder had left. Once she heard Monica hang up the phone, she used her pinky finger to break the suction William had on her nipple. William began to fuss, indicating he wasn't finished with his meal, but she needed to know who Reyes was on the phone with. "Shh, it's okay sweetie," Scully cooed. Just then, she heard a knock on the door and told Monica it was okay to come in.
When Monica moved further into the room, Scully was placing William in his bassinet next to her bed. "Are you okay, Dana?"
Scully nodded. "Yeah, I think so," she whispered. "Who called?"
Monica swallowed and couldn't help but smile. "It was Brad…John has made a full recovery and is being released tomorrow."
Scully smiled; grateful the man who had risked his life to protect them both would be okay. She owed everything to him. She didn't know if she could forgive herself if the outcome were any different. Suddenly, tears began to make their way down her face again and Monica moved closer to place her hand on her friend's shoulder. "Are you going to be okay by yourself, Dana?"
Scully nodded slowly, trying to regain composure. "Yeah, it's just…uh," she stopped.
Monica could sense there was something Scully wasn't telling her. "What is it, Dana?"
Scully shook her head slowly. "Nothing, it's just…uh…I'm pregnant."
Monica was unable to hold in a gasp at Scully's sudden revelation. Her eyes went wide with shock. It took her a moment to process this information before she could ask the obvious. "Mulder?"
Scully nodded, unable to keep the tears at bay. "I don't know what to do, Monica. How can I bring another child into this world when I cannot even guarantee the safety of the first one, how do I know they won't try and take this one from me, also?" she placed her hand on her still flat, but slightly rounded belly.
"Oh Dana," she whispered.
"I don't know if I can do this alone, Monica. I can't do this without him," she confided.
"Does anyone else know?" Monica whispered.
Scully shook her head. "No," she whispered. "No one else can know until Mulder knows."
Monica nodded. "You don't believe what that man said, right? You don't think he's dead?"
Scully nodded. "I need to believe he's alive, Monica, if not for my sake, then for his children."
"You've got to get to him, Dana, he has to know."
Monica smiled. "I'm going to check on John, but I will be back later tonight. I don't think it's a good idea for you or William to be left alone right now."
Scully hated to admit it, but Monica was right. As much as she needed some privacy, she had to think of what was best for William and her unborn baby first. "Okay," Scully managed.
Monica smiled once more. "I'll be back soon, okay Dana?" Monica slipped out of Scully's bedroom and out of her apartment. Scully paused, looking down to find her hand still protectively over her abdomen. She looked over at the bassinet to see William sleeping soundly. She moved closer to the crib and gently stroked the baby's cheek. "Don't worry, you're safe now, my sweet William. Mommy will never let anyone take you away ever again," she whispered, also in an attempt to reassure herself. Could she ever really promise him that?
Scully sighed and went into the kitchen to retrieve her laptop. She brought it back to her bedroom and set it on the desk that was beside her bed. A minute or so later, she was on the internet and checking her e-mail. Spam, a few e-mails regarding work, nothing new from Mulder since the train incident. Using an e-mail address with her old dog's name, she would sometimes converse with Mulder over e-mail. However, this e-mail would be a painful one to write.
In the "to" line, she put trust_. She began to type. "Dearest Mulder, I know the last time I asked you to meet me, I put your life at risk. Please understand that I'm not doing this for me, but for William. He has demonstrated "abilities," Mulder, "abilities" that I do not quite understand or comprehend. It is because of these abilities that there are so many people who want him, Mulder, alive or dead. Everyone thinks you're dead, but I have to hope and pray that you are still alive and well. They tried to take him from us, Mulder, and you have to understand how difficult…how painful it is for me to admit that I almost lost him. I worry for his safety and continue to question my ability to protect him alone. I can't do it without you, Mulder. There is something I need to tell you, but I need to tell you in person. It's wonderful, but at the same time, terrifying news. It cannot wait. I love you,
As Scully clicked send, she heard William start to whimper inside of his bassinet, almost as if he were sensing her distress. She made a move to turn off the computer and changed into her pajama clothes before attending to him. "Shh," she cooed. She knew that sometimes it was inevitable for her to comfort him alone when she knew he wanted his father. "Don't worry; you will see your daddy again soon."