As weeks passed, Monica would stay overnight with Scully and William. Scully did not want the FBI involved any further as she knew there were people working within the FBI that she couldn't trust and that were in fact, working against her and Mulder. It pained her to admit she even felt wary of Skinner as he had been stroking the egos of Deputy Director Kersh and the others.
Since William's kidnapping, she decided to take some time off of work. Not only to watch over William, but to also ease the stress during this pregnancy. Her doctor had strongly recommended it due to the difficulty of her last pregnancy as she suspected this would also be another high risk pregnancy. Thankfully, the morning sickness was not nearly as bad as her pregnancy with William, but she still felt fatigued and had occasional vaginal discharge which her doctor had assured her was normal.
She sighed as she remembered her first trip to the doctor when suspecting that she was pregnant.
"Congratulations, Dana, you're pregnant again!" she beamed.
Scully wore a look of utter shock as her mind took a moment to process those words. Her mouth gaped open and it must have been that way for a while as the doctor spoke again. "Dana? May I ask what option you are considering next?" she asked gently.
Tears of both fear and excitement suddenly flooded her eyes as realization kicked in. "I, uh…" she trailed off, unable to finish. Scully knew what the doctor meant when she said "her options". For a screaming second, she contemplated plan "B", but that thought was gone as fast as it came. Her hand instinctively searched for the small mound of her stomach and she instantly detested herself for thinking those thoughts. It wasn't fair to the child she carried within her, he or she deserved the right to life, no matter how frightening the world really was. It also wouldn't be fair to Mulder, whose child he shared 50% of his DNA with. He had a right to know before she made any such decision.
"I'm going to have the baby," she answered without question.
The response elicited a smile from the doctor. "I'm glad to hear it. I'm going to write some prescriptions for you. In the meantime, I want you to rest as much as possible to prevent any complications that you had with William. You're a medical doctor and I'm not going to tell you what not to do as we've already been through this not too long ago." The short blond haired woman placed a hand gently on Scully's arm. "And, Dana, in about a little more than a month, I can tell you the sex of the baby."
Scully managed a smile and nodded. "Thank you," she whispered.
Monica had left early that morning to go home before she went in to work and Scully's mother was on her way over to spend the afternoon with her daughter and grandson. As each day passed, she grew to believe that it was true, that Mulder had been killed…and she felt herself in the same predicament she was in a year ago, alone and pregnant.
As she watched William in his bassinet, she began to let the tears flow. If it were true, she couldn't give up one of her last connections to Mulder. As if sensing her fear and sadness, William began to whimper. Scully slowly moved towards the bassinet and the squirming baby. She gingerly reached inside and picked him up. "Shh, sweetie, it's okay," she cooed.
She held the baby tightly to her chest as she cried silent tears with her baby.
A few minutes later, she heard a knock on the door and set William back inside his bassinet. She opened the door to see her mother, who was immediately worried at Scully's expression. "Dana," she whispered. "Are you okay?"
Scully bit her lip. "Yeah, I'm fine," she whispered, moving aside and letting her mother walk into the room.
Once the door was closed, Scully knew what was coming. Her answer was usually satisfactory to everyone else, but she always knew that her mother could see through her like glass. She knew things only a mother would know about her child, like she knew about William or she assumed she would soon know about her own daughter. She was not certain, but for some reason, she liked to think that this baby would be a girl. She was suddenly struck with sadness as she remembered Emily, the girl she became close to in such a short time, only to have death to take her short life away.
Maggie Scully's face was grim, she knew her daughter too well to believe that statement. "You're not fine, Dana, I'm your mother and you know that answer isn't going to sit with me," she began somewhat sternly as if she were scolding a child, but continued in a chiding manner. "Dana, sweetheart, you know you can tell me anything."
Scully looked away as her mother seated herself on the couch. Before getting comfortable, she reached for her still crying grandson in his crib and held him to her chest. A moment after hesitating, Scully seated herself next to her mother. She sighed. Scully couldn't bear to look at her mother. She was ashamed of herself, for not being able to protect her son and uncertain of being able to protect the child inside of her. Scully stared straight ahead. "They took him, mom. I failed as a mother to protect him," she whispered as a tear made its way down her cheek. "If Mulder were here," her voice broke as she looked over at William whose cries settled into slow whimpers. Maggie looked over at her daughter. "We wouldn't have lost him," she finished, looking away as more tears slid down her cheeks. Although she made a quick attempt to wipe them away, her mother pulled her closer.
"Oh, Dana," she whispered. "How can you say that, you are a wonderful mother to him and I know that you would do anything to protect him."
Through the tears, Scully looked into her mother's eyes. "You told me to love him and raise him, in spite of everything. But I couldn't, I didn't. I needed answers. I let them take him from me. It's my fault," she choked out. "If only I would have listened, loved him and raised him as you said, none of this would have happened!" she covered her face and began to cry.
Maggie set the baby back in the crib and slid her arms around her shaking daughter. She knew her daughter well enough that no words would ever be good enough to change her daughter's mind. All she could do was love and support her. "Oh, Dana sweetheart," she felt tears in her own eyes. She held her daughter tightly and gently smoothed her hand over her head to console her. "It's going to be alright," she whispered soothingly.
A moment later, Scully pulled back. "No, no it's not, Mom. Mulder's gone, he's dead," she explained everything Agent Comer had told her.
"You don't believe that, Dana, I know you don't," she insisted.
"I sent him another e-mail, Mom, it's been two weeks and I still haven't heard from him. Oh Mom, he would have responded by now, especially if he knew what happened!" she cried.
As Scully's voice rose, William began to whimper in unison with his mother's cries.
"You need to have faith, Dana. You need to believe Fox will come back to you, he always has. He has to be alive."
"I can't just take this on faith anymore, Mom, I need to see him. There are things he needs to know!" she pleaded.
Maggie gave her daughter a look. "What things, Dana?" she prodded.
Scully looked away.
"You've always been so secretive; Dana, but certainly you can tell your mother."
After a moment, Scully turned to her mother, wearing a mixed expression of fear and happiness. "I'm pregnant," her voice broke before she began to sob again.
Maggie gasped and stared at her daughter in shock. "Oh, Dana baby. My baby is having another baby," she began to cry.
Scully allowed her mother to pull her into a comforting embrace. She cried for what seemed like an eternity. She thought about how Mulder take the news. Would he be happy, afraid or both like she was?
Finally, Scully pulled back and Maggie placed her hand on her daughter's abdomen. She was just barely showing, but at this rate, she wouldn't be able to hide that little belly for too much longer. Scully looked down at where their hands were on her stomach, but she only wished it was Mulder's hand next to hers. "So are you going to let me in on what you think the sex is this time, Dana, or is it going to be another secret of yours?" she teased.
Scully couldn't help but laugh. "Well, I won't know for at least another month, but I would like to think it's a girl. I cannot explain it, but I also don't want to call it and 'it' either. I wanted to find out with Mulder on my next visit, but-"she broke off, unable to continue.
Maggie looked up at her daughter. "Don't give up hope, Dana, you can't. Fox will come back to you, to William and to this baby," she rubbed at her daughter's small bulge.
Scully sighed and decided to confide to her mother her worst fear. Mulder wasn't around and she had to confide in someone, so it may as well be her mother. "Mom, when the doctor told me I was pregnant and asked me what my choices were, I hated myself for thinking I could easily terminate the pregnancy."
Maggie looked at her daughter openmouthed. "Dana," she started.
"It wasn't because I didn't want her and I so very much want to have this baby, but Mom, how can I raise another child with all that has happened with William? Mulder isn't here and I cannot protect her alone. It would be selfish of me to put my own wishes first. I have to think about the type of life this child will have."
Maggie sighed. "Let me tell you something, Dana. When I had you, Missy and your brothers, your father wasn't always around because of his work. I had four children and it was the most difficult, but rewarding job I have ever had. When I thought I couldn't do it anymore, I woke up each morning to each of your smiling faces and realized that I wouldn't change motherhood for anything else in the world. You are strong, Dana, and I know you will find a way, you need to have faith; you just have to believe." Scully gasped and through her mother's eyes, she saw Mulder staring back at her.
"I want to believe," she whispered.
To be continued…